Sigh.
I did compile a nice list of semi sad songs to post to my facebook and myspace accounts. That's a productive way to spend an hour alone, right? The hour before that I was playing Mario Party 8 on the Wii. Alone. (I finally made Jake go to bed at 1015).
I miss Gina. I still don't fully believe that she is gone. In case you're wondering, alot of the songs on my new playlist are either influenced by her in some way, or remind me of her. Or they just make me cry, and I feel like crying.
It's bad that I don't want to work anymore. I have a good 30+ years of working life left. I don't hate my job or anything, I just feel like I'm missing out on so much, and in the blink of an eye I could be gone, or something could happen to someone I love, and all that is remembered is that I spent all that time working and establishing myself. Not at home with my kiddos or husband, or other family and friends.
I JUST remembered that Clara is in the Nutcracker tomorrow. I knew about it, but I had conveniently forgotten that she will basically be at the auditorium from 2pm until 5pm, then back at 6pm for the 7pm show. Great. Of course the location is in the NE corner of town and we live in the SW corner of town. Fantastic. And parents can't stay there for the rehersel unless you are a class volunteer, which means you can't see the show. So I'm not that person.
I guess I'll be REALLY happy if we manage to get a tree tomorrow, I'll be ecstatic if we can get lights up outside too.
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2 comments:
Oh my gosh, I know how you feel. I still can't believe my dad is gone and this will be Christmas number 3 without him. I still cry when I hear music or think of him. This is your first Christmas so it will be hard. It doesn't even matter if you normally did not spend the holiday together, knowing you can't makes it worse.
I am so sorry for your pain. Really I am.
As for work, maybe you could find a better schedule to fit your life better. That might help. You should enjoy the place and look forward to where you spend half of your life.
God bless you!
I am so sorry, Mary! I can only imagine how I would feel if I lost my sister because she is my best friend.
I hope that you'll find so much happiness this year with your precious family!
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