Monday, July 31, 2006

Putting a face with the name


Here's a picture of my grandma Jo with Gina and Margo taken right after Christmas this year.

I'm really hoping that everyone at work forgot about whats going on, or I'm not going to be able to make it thru the day without getting upset. I'm fine until people start asking questions.

Like tonight at Tom's parents house things were fine until his stepmom got home and asked if I needed a hug. No I don't, I need to not be reminded that everything is abnormal. I felt bad because I sidesteped and said "I don't really want to talk about it right now." I just didn't want to start crying in the middle of getting the kids plates ready. I did talk to her later, but I can manage it on my terms.

I didn't go to church today, just because I couldn't handle having to answer any questions, and I didn't want to cry. Don't know why it's a big deal, as its all I seem to be doing. I'll be fine, then all the sudden something reminds me of something, or I hear a song, or look at pictures and I'm bawling.

4 comments:

Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

(((Mary)))

BTDT. If you ever need to talk, give a yell. OK?

There's also a fantastic book. "Love, Medicine, and Miracles, by Bernie Siegel. Check it out. You'll feel better.

XOXO

Kim

mama_tulip said...

Mary...I'm just a click away if you need someone to vent to. Hang in there.

Mary said...

Hey Kim I wrote that book down, I'm gonna see if I can find a copy of it tomorrow.

I might be hittin one of you up soon to talk to. The problem is, I'm okay when the kids are up/around, it's after everyone goes to bed and it's 1am and I'm tired and sad and worn out. Then I lose it. Luckily Tom is good at rubbing my back while I cry myself to sleep...

Chelle Y. said...

Mary,
It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel sorry for yourself and think that what is happening sucks! It does...

That's a great picture too!

 

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