It hit me today

That might never see my sister again. I can't help being pessimistic about everything she is dealing with, but she finally got the 'offical' diagnosis of ovarian cancer. Even in the 2 weeks since her last CT, the tumor has grown. It's pretty well embedded in her lymph nodes plus some of the connective tissue.

I wish she wasn't so far away. I wish there was something I could do. She's been so depressed about it that she doesn't want to even talk on the phone. Or she acts fake cheery.

I had to talk to the imaging director yesterday. We're supposed to meet with her or the lead tech once every other week. We hadn't met with either of them since this term started. The ID does her job very well. You know when you are trying to say something, but not REALLY say it? She gets you to say it. But when I came out of the meeting, I felt better. I thought I did a good job explaining a couple of stupid issues/misconceptions that were happening, and I ALSO thought I did good job telling her that I felt better after talking with her.

Aparently I didn't. Was told when I got to work that "we do not treat xxx better than you guys" "we aren't easier on him than on you" "blah blah blah". I guess that's good that ID was checking to make sure things were going well with us, but now I feel like I just can't tell ID anything without it getting around. So what's the point of even having these private disccusions? I don't get it. Things were taken out of context.

I'm not sure if I should just drop it or if I should trying talking to ID and the guy in charge of us again. The other student is just dropping it, but I really feel like I was misrepresented.

I just don't want to think about it. I don't know if its 'that time of the month' or what, but this is bothering me way more than it should. Plus the stuff with Gina. Hell I could just sit here cry forever. Great. Doesn't help that I'm listening to my new favorite 'sad song' Where'd You Go by Fort Minor.