Tuesday, June 27, 2006


How is it that I can get a crush on just about anybody (well with in reason of course. ooh especially the kind of nerdy types, I love them. hehehe), and it's not a big deal at all. But if I even THINK about Tom thinking that someone else is hot/attractive makes me feel ill.

I know it's because I have about zero self esteem right now, and just feel crappy in general. But it's not cool. It's not healthy. I just don't get it. And I wish it wasn't so.

I say all of this even though things have been fine since the kiddos have left (read: sex everyday without any interruptions! yay!).

I think it makes me sad that he has all of these friends, but the only friends I have these days are at work, or on here. But I've had so little time to post/comment on blogs, I feel that slacking too. On the other hand, he posts on multiple message boards, training websites ect plus meets with a group of people 2 times a week to ride.

I need something. Not sure what, but just talking about this is making me sad :(


Chelle Y. said...

(((Mary))) I think everyone has self-esteem problems at one time or another. I was just reading the lastest issue of "People." There is an article of Katherine McFee's struggle with bulimia, and the next article is pictures of "hot actresses in bikinis."

No wonder why girls are messed up! I know for a fact, I'll never look like that and it gets discouraging at times. I try to think positively, but there are days... you know?

It sounds to me that even though Tom has "friends," you're getting the great sex! Way to go!

Hope things cheer up for you soon!

Pink Rocket said...

ha! this will make you feel better!! i've got you beat! the only people i have around here are jerrett and the BIL/SIL who i'd rather not be around...there was the blogger chick (not gonna mention names) that i met but she was weird. so it's me and the kid. FUN.

seriously, screw what i said i'll be there if ya need me!

Mary said...

Thanks chelle and shanna.

I talked to Tom last night, and feel better. Actually we had a huge fight, but I'm glad everything got out in the open. I feel alot better now :)


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