Thursday, February 23, 2006

Why do I do this?

I'm so dissapointed in myself. All has to do with eating and weight and blah blah blah. I thought I was going to be able to suceed at weight watchers again, but I'm more than failing.

We're supposed to start training with Jennifer, but I don't know when that is going to happen. I have this aversion to the gym, I can't go. I don't know why. I used to go all the time, and that plus ww helped me lose 35lbs in 4 months, but now I can't.

Supposed to go on a romantic trip this weekend, but in an unusual turn of events, I'm feeling really self-consious. Even though I've not been happy with 'me' physically, I've never felt like this before.

So now at 10:30pm I just want to sit here and cry because I'm too dumb or lack personal accountability to be able to not do stupid things.

2 comments:

geenalyn said...

((Mary)) been there..am there...tons of huggs....

Mary said...

Thanks Geena--we gotta 'get together' and work on things together.

I try Melissa-I do. But it's either all or nothing. I try to make babysteps, take things slow ect, but I fail. If I'm not hardcore, going to the gym everyday, planning and obessing over my menus, then I can't do it. I don't know why. It makes me sad :(

Thanks Veronica--you are a big motivator for me right now--keep it up chickie!

 

site analysis