Thursday, February 23, 2006

Why do I do this?

I'm so dissapointed in myself. All has to do with eating and weight and blah blah blah. I thought I was going to be able to suceed at weight watchers again, but I'm more than failing.

We're supposed to start training with Jennifer, but I don't know when that is going to happen. I have this aversion to the gym, I can't go. I don't know why. I used to go all the time, and that plus ww helped me lose 35lbs in 4 months, but now I can't.

Supposed to go on a romantic trip this weekend, but in an unusual turn of events, I'm feeling really self-consious. Even though I've not been happy with 'me' physically, I've never felt like this before.

So now at 10:30pm I just want to sit here and cry because I'm too dumb or lack personal accountability to be able to not do stupid things.


geenalyn said...

((Mary)) been there...tons of huggs....

Melissa said...

((((Mary)))) You know, you've got a lot of balls in the air right, husband, school, house, life. Not to mention it's winter and we're all in hibernation mode. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Maybe just start with one little goal for the weekend and next week.

My goal was to distract myself from sweets and junk. I know this sounds silly, but whenever I've craved something sweet, I hopped on the computer and downloaded a song. And yesterday, I was at Walmart and I just wanted to buy myself something. Usually, it would have been a candy bar, but instead I went and bought some pretty neon post its. LOL

Veronica said...


Mary said...

Thanks Geena--we gotta 'get together' and work on things together.

I try Melissa-I do. But it's either all or nothing. I try to make babysteps, take things slow ect, but I fail. If I'm not hardcore, going to the gym everyday, planning and obessing over my menus, then I can't do it. I don't know why. It makes me sad :(

Thanks Veronica--you are a big motivator for me right now--keep it up chickie!

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry you're sad...but, you ARE trying, Mary.


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