Monday, November 28, 2005

Jack asses

My inlaws aren't bad people or anything, just kind of indifferent to us. For example we live a little less than 1 hour away, and they've been to our house 2 times in 4 years, and have only come to 1 of Clara's birthday's, and 2 of Jake's. They rarely call to see how things are going. They never invite us over, we invite ourselves.

What really pissed me off happened this weekend. We haven't seen them since the day before halloween when we drove up there and we went out to pizza. Tom talked to his dad Saturday morning about coming up. We drive up, getting there at 630, but no one is home yet. Usually they get home between 6 and 630. We call, and apparently they didn't think we were coming up, so they went out to dinner. Tom says he ended the conversation Saturday morning with "Well I guess we'll plan on seeing you tonight." His dad thought Tom was going to call back and 'confirm it' later in the day. Whatever.

Stupid fuckheads. I don't think they even care that they see Jake and Clara so little. Hell neither kid will have anything to do with them when we get there, since it's normally been a month since the last time. It's been 3 times since the end of August.

Granted they both work full-time, on the weekends, and Tom's stepmom's mom is in a nursing home, so Pris goes to see her 3-4 days a week, plus takes care of all the cleaning and such at her dad's house. So they don't have alot of extra time. But what about some fucking effort? I don't have a lot of spare time either. But we still manage to go see them. And it's almost always at MY insistance, even though I dislike going to their house. I sit and stare at the fucking wall for the 3 hours we're there, or I watch the kids cuz Tom and his dad watch tv or talk about cars, and Pris is always doing the dishes, or cleaning. I think it's important for Jake and Clara to see them though, they aren't old enough to make the decision either way, so I need to take the upper road and make it for them.

It's nothing new. It's always been like this. We used to live 3 mins from their house for the last 3-4 months of my pregnancy with Jake, and until he was 6 months old. We STILL only saw them once a week TOPS.

So frustrating. Tom said we won't see them until Christmas, and he is refusing to call them. This happens once or twice a year when Tom has a brief realization of how self-centered they are. I think the longest they've 'held out' (or really probably just didn't notice) without talking was almost 2 weeks. I talk to my parents almost daily, seeing them 3-4-5 times a week (or more sometimes).

whatever. If they are bitter about being the less seen grandparents, or jealous that Jake and Clara love grammy and papa so much, it's not gonna change, and they are only sealing their fate. I wouldn't be suprised that if in the next 3-4 years they become the birthday card grandparents....


mama_tulip said...

((Mary)) That would be incredibly frustrating. I can relate to a degree; my father's not what you'd call an "active grandparent" but he is much more active than your IL's.

You go girl, calling them stupid fuckheads. Sorry, couldn't help but snort a bit when I read that. ;)

TC said...

((Mary))! I so know how you feel. I go through the exact same thing with my IL's, I try, they don't yadada. Do keep up the good work and let them be the asses!

Mary said...

Thanks Kath and Tif. It's retarded. I don't care. It's their choice for not wanting to be more involved with their grandkids. I know they're busy blah blah blah, but so are we, and we atleast try to make time....

thanks for the hugs.


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