Monday, April 10, 2006

How to feel like a crappy mom

Jake was sick about 2 weeks ago. Ended up being diagnosed with an ear infection, but no reason for the occasional vomiting. Last night he woke up delirious, saying his heart hurt, and he was burning up. I gave him a tums and some tylenol, then laid with him for almost 2 hours until he stopped whimpering.

This morning I decided to stay home with him, until I realized we HAD to attend this scholarship meeting if we wanted to apply for a $1000 scholarship. I ended up dropping him off with my mom at about 11:30 and headed down to school. (my dad had taken Clara to daycare earlier in the morning).

I made an appointment for him at 3:30 (of course they had NO morning appts....) with his Dr, and my mom took him there. Turns out his left ear drum was dark magenta :( That's why his fever came back, and he just wasn't feeling well. Last week he didn't finish his antibiotics (missed 7 doses, or 2.33 days out of 7 days worth) because he kept throwing it up (I thought either on purpose, or he was mildly allergic).

The Dr decided that him getting antibiotic shots was better than trying amoxicillian again. 1 in each leg, and they had to hold him down. Makes me sad to even think about it. Apparently he couldn't walk afterwards, and they ended up wheeling him out to the car in a wheelchair.

This evening his fever came back, and he was shaking, his heart rate was in the 140's. He finally fell asleep and the HR dropped back down to around 100.

I feel like such a shitty mom for not finishing up the amox. in the first place, or atleast contacting the Dr. about it. I also feel like crap because twice now someone else has taken my baby to the Dr when he was sick, not me. That's MY job, not my parents job. It makes me feel so guilty and selfish to be going back to school on days like today.

Atleast Tom is able to stay home tomorrow, we already decided to keep Jake home, unless he wakes up in a stellar mood, which is highly unlikely.


mama_tulip said...


I think every mother would feel the same way but please don't beat yourself up too hard about not finishing the meds up or about not being able to take him. That's just life...we can't do everything and be everywhere at the same time. You're lucky you've got family to help out and in instances like that, where I can't be with one of my kiddos but really want to be, I just tell myself that they're bonding with whichever relative is helping out. :)

Tink said...

Ditto what Mama T said. I hope your little one feels better soon! I'm sending all my "Get Well" vibes your way.

Chelle Y. said...

I agree with Katerine. You should not feel too badly about that. I think we all go through that sort of thing once in a while. I am sure you're a great mom.

It is nice to have family nearby to help. Mom's are the best, but grandma's come in a close second! :o)

Pink Rocket said...

aww mary! i feel the same way! you're not alone in this!!

hope the little one is feeling better soon!

Susan said...

I know you feel bad, but you had to go to school. Thankfully you have your parents nearby and they were able to help you out.

Get well quick vibes heading his way.

Emily said...

Aww...hopefully he'll be back to 100% soon...


Carrie said...

(((Mary))) You're an awesome mommy! My kids haven't completely finished their meds plenty of times. There's really not much you CAN do when they are vomiting anyway. I hope he's back to normal very soon. ((((Jakey))))

Mary said...

Thanks everyone, you guys know how to make someone feel a bit better.

Jake went back to daycare today-he had a pretty rough drop off-but apparently he was fine once I left.


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